Ft Collins & beginnings & endings

I value my time among the mountains more and more. As I stared at them today, traveling 70 mph past the Northern Front Range of the Rockies, I saw their pastel hues changing and shifting with the clouds’ shadows and wondered if the view would ever become old. Is there a time when you fall out of love with something? I’ve been told more than once that love is fickle, that it changes, that it does not last but what if my soul loves it? What if I was born to love it?

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Today David, Lacey and I drove to Ft Collins. Our goal was to meet up with some friends at the Devil’s Backbone but we left late so only met them as they were leaving. It was alright, though; everything happens for a reason. Actually, I don’t believe that. I believe that there’s no reason for anything and searching for meaning is not necessary, instead I want to simply accept what happens as part of my life and trust that it has just as much potential for joy and positive experience.

So we passed them at the trailhead and continued onward, walking at a slight incline toward what we took to be the Devil’s Backbone, a rock formation looking quite like the sunken backbone of an enormous body. We walked and walked, letting the sun thoroughly warm us and watching Lacey sniff each unique bush.

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My experience was mixed, though. I’ve had a lot on my mind, with my semester in Nepal quickly approaching and our time in Colorado waning. It is always melancholic to understand that life will soon change, and not in a small way. I thought about all of this as I walked, while trying to relax my mind into the scattered clouds.

I tend to forget that there are bad days; just a few, but they happen. During those bad days I again forget ~ I forget that there are days so indescribably beautiful that there’s no doubt it’s all worth it. Life is a balance and I’m only aware afterward, when I look back and laugh and know that I can trust the world.

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